England All Stars

If further proof were needed that Robbie Williams is an absolute wanker then Saturday’s Soccer Aid match furnished it in abundance. Okay, so good on him for raising loads of money for Unicef. Can’t fault the fella there. It’s just that he took the game, and himself, far too fucking seriously.

Robbie clearly worked hard to attract massive names from around the world to take part. Maradona braved the heckling to play and alien lookalike Colina even took himself out of retirement to oversee proceedings.

At half time chilled-out Rud Gullit, manager for the Rest of The World team, made several substitutions and ended up fielding five soccer legends alongside the celebrities rather than the four allowed by the rules (naughty boy). His argument was that you couldn’t ask these legends to fly in from around the globe and not give them at least a half. Fair enough, no?

Oh no. Not for Robbie. When Colina wandered over to run it past the posturing England captain (I know, it’s a fucking joke isn’t it?) Robbie said one word, “No”, before walking away. That’s right, before walking away from Colina himself. I might be forgiven for thinking that with it being a friendly exhibition match to raise money for underprivileged children around the world, Robbie might have done the decent thing and put his astronomical ego to one side for 45 minutes and just got on with it.

Colinaâ??s reaction said it all:

â??He said no!!!â? he mouthed to one of his assistants with a mixture of disbelief and derision written across his face.

Robbie, you are in my very considered opinion, a twat. Now fuck off and let us get on with the World Cup!

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